My Experiment With Weight

Laurel

This article is solely based on my own experiences and may have absolutely nothing to say to anyone else; but on the off chance that it might be of some help, I have to write it. It has been alluded that I’m too skinny at my present weight (119 pounds), and that I have an over-all anorexic appearance.

That may very well be true, but I’ve seen many actual models whose bones stick out as much as mine do. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with the genes for a subcutaneous fat layer of female thickness, but even now I am seeing changes that suggest that my hormones may be overwhelming that particular structural flaw. Testosterone blockers, I understand, can provide a quicker path to developing a female physique, but I’ve never been on them, so it may be that mine is merely a product of time, as has also been suggested. After my SRS, I consciously maintained a weight of about 132 pounds for the first few years. This was a frustrating period of costly experimentation (my own RLT), and I did not need the extra hassle of also changing my size in the midst of all that. Biber had said that he was giving me C-cup implants ("because what's the point of anything less"), but after trying various sized bras I had to settle on a 34B. "C" cups were just too wrinkly on me. At the time I had no idea that my ribcage was the culprit.

You see, whenever you put on more weight your ribcage expands commensurately. I'd never really thought about this until I recently became acquainted with a girl who had bulked up in early childhood and was stuck with a barrel chest because of it. Fortunately I'd always been rather stringy, and therefore my ribs set in their slightest possible configuration.

Anyway, as soon as I had grown more confident in my general presentation, I focused my attention on a figure that I by-and-large didn’t possess.

Although I was moderately satisfied with my waist (around 26 inches), my hips were not that much larger (about 33"); and, I had hollows on the outside of my butt cheeks and the inside of my thighs. Since I had been on estradiol for several years by then, I reasoned that if I were to gain weight, the fat would be sent to the female areas where I wanted it. I had read that before menopause a woman puts on her fat in those places and that afterward most of her fat intake tends to gravitate toward male areas like her midsection, and that it was all due to either the abundance or paucity of estrogen.

Considering this, in the mid-80's I increased my intake of food, getting up to a maximum of 145 pounds. Although I did put on some fat in the archetypal female areas, most of it went directly to my middle. Any waist I had virtually disappeared and my hollows stubbornly refused to go away. I contracted massive "love-handles" and had to constantly hold in my bulging belly.

My ribcage swelled terrifically, taking me up to a size 36A bra. Implants, you see, stay the same size no matter how your body seesaws; and even though I had added extra skin to my breasts I was now only one inch larger there than at my ribcage. The conclusion that I eventually came to from all this was this; my genes were still calling much of the tune as to where my fat went.

After trying for years to get my waist back and my tummy under control with different exercises (and even a corset) I finally gave up and went on a diet. My new plan was to reach the Body Mass Index's (BMI) lowest indicated healthy weight for my height, reasoning this time that my pelvic girth was pretty much set in bone by now (I was in my late 40s) - once my midsection shrank back I'd finally have the shape I desired.

This took some time to achieve (my 1996 driver's license has me at 130 lb.), but it worked better than I could have hoped. My waist is now down to 24" and my ribcage has subsided to its smallest circumference ever, allowing me to wear a 32C bra. My tummy no longer hangs over the bikinis which I can now finally wear. I know that I'm not anorexic because I have tons of energy; and oddly enough, I now have more curves than ever before!

The hollows on my inner thighs have been replaced with pads of fat. My knees are smoother and rounder (I do knee-tensing exercises). My hips are 35" and my nether cheeks are filling in fast (I can actually feel them waggle from side to side when I walk, and that didn't happen when I was bigger). My waist-to-hip ratio is under point seven (.6857, to be exact), the great unattainable goal for which I've striven all these years. Whether this is simply the byproduct of 20+ years post-op or of starving my chromosomes into submission, I don't know. It's the best I have ever been, and at my current weight is where I intend to stay. You can't argue with success, and at last I have success.