Worshipping at the Porcelain God(ess)

by Ann Costa

Washington, DC - A Christian, a Jew, a Protestant and a Buddhist were panelists at a transgender convention. The first question was raised. What was the most challenging aspect of their personal transition in regards to their personal religion?

The Catholic (F2M) said it was the question of whether or not he could get married in the Catholic Church as the new man that he had become. The audience murmered and heads nodded. The Jew (F2M), said it was a question of whether or not Jewish law would view him as a new man because he could not be circumcised, something that had long been debated in Rabincal circles. Again the audience murmered and heads nodded.

The Buddhist who was a M2F, said for her it was the confusing energy that she was putting forth since she had renounced and cut off her long hair to become a Buddhist nun. For in doing so she now looked very boyish again. Once again the audience murmered and heads nodded.

Finally the protestant (F2M) spoke up and said that the most complex aspect of his change at church was "bathroom usage." With that statement the audience burst out in laugher and then a curious thing happened. Members of the audience each began asking to be heard. As each said their peace it became obvious that many had not only been confronted with bathroom discrimination in the work place but alas they had been confronted with it at their houses of worship. The topic was so popular that it dominated over the more esoteric aspects of faith, spirit and doctrine. Not to mention that it completely consumed the time of the discussion .

NO, this is not a standup comedy routine! It's something that really happened a couple of years ago at an east coast F2M conference.

We all know that potty humor is alive and well in movies, television, plays and of course in standup routines. It never ceases to amaze me that in ten years of college lectures on the topic of Sex & Gender that the question(s) most commonly put to me as a trans person; is an inquiry as to which Porcelain God or Goddess I utilize.

I don't think there is a trans person alive that hasn't been cornered by the question at least once in their post-out lives. I think it's safe to say that most of us have had some significant amount of our time in transition and beyond, invested in others sorting out, directing and down right trying to control where we as special human beings go to worship the Porcelain deity.

In my opinion the whole rest room debate really comes down personal privacy and to comfort of others and classically the Trans person being the minority finds themselves being pushed into the position of being gracious and accommodating. While in transition some of us have had to deal with the indignity of being asked to use a single stall rest rooms or post magnetic signs on the outside of the rest room warning others that "an Alien life form" is inside.

In the west we seem suffer from what I call "Harem Syndrome!" It's the old concept; that men are not allowed into women's hygiene space unless that person is a eunuch. Case in point, most employers have a major problem with M2F trans persons using the women's room until after they have the "big chop-chop." Most F2M's I've spoken with don't have nearly as serious a problem, especially after their male hormones start kicking in.

To illustrate that it's largely cultural, while serving in Japan 25 years ago, I noted that while major cities have western style rest rooms in hotels, the bulk of Japanese society at that time had uni-gender comfort facilities.

Can we really do much about it? Not really! We are too few. In most cases when one of us transitions, we are the first trans person most people have ever met and people are scared of us. In many cases the employer does their best, hopefully to make everybody happy. Even big corporations like IBM where well over a hundred persons have transitioned in the past forty years; the concept of the "uni-sex rest room" has become almost an institution for the person in transition.

In the final analysis; no matter the gender, the social position, econmonic rank, or spiritual faith, all living beings have to "do it" sooner or later and in the end, it's the Porcelain God/dess who still rules!